The Autumn Leaf Read online

  Copyright © 2020 by Brittany Tarkington

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the author, email addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the email address below.

  Pub91 Publishing

  [email protected]

  Ordering Information:

  Quantity sales. Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. Orders by U.S. trade bookstores and wholesalers. For details, contact the author at the email address above.

  Printed in the United States of America

  Tarkington, Brittany.

  The Autumn Leaf: A Novel/ Brittany Tarkington

  ASIN: B07JQXJ4VG

  1. Romance 2. Contemporary 3. New Adult

  Cover by: Mayhem Cover Creations

  Formatting by: Under Cover Designs

  Editing: Wordsmith Editing

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  The Hazed Series

  Hazed

  Unfazed

  Ruined

  * * *

  The Lies We Tell

  * * *

  The Forever Series

  Forever Careless

  Forever Reckless

  * * *

  Coming Soon:

  Damaged (Book 4 of The Hazed Series)

  Grove

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  About Brittany Tarkington

  For Avery, thank you for always giving me grace while writing.

  Jeanetta, thank you for always dropping everything to read and encourage me.

  Aubree, you’re the best hype man on this planet.

  One

  It was a great day to become a teenage runaway. As a trailer park resident, the statistics were believable. The police would look around locally; they may even throw up some flyers for good measure. It would end shortly, and they would assure my father that this was normal and that I would come back. I had seen it happen, but he would know differently.

  Where is it? Panic punched through me as I searched my room.

  I ripped a drawer open frantically. My anxiety was out to play, and she was an ugly bitch. He knew. He had to know. Why did I come back here? It was a trap. Twirling around the room, I brought my hands to my head. Unvoiced screams bottled in my lungs were ready to rip into the air.

  “WHERE IS IT?” I demanded. Only this time I heard movement. Crouching down like an animal ready to attack, I waited.

  Sunlight shone through the cracked, broken blinds and my safe gleamed brilliantly. Of course. I crept over and twisted the combination. There it was, peaking at me from under the silver revolver. I grabbed the picture, shoving it into my back pocket, and hesitated.

  I did not know who I was when I bought the pistol. I was not a violent person. My fight or flight instinct had kicked in the day I went underground and purchased the numberless gun. I had recently been mugged, but it was nothing close to what I endured in this house of horrors.

  I closed the safe, securing it before I left. I had no need for it now. No one would hurt me again. I would not allow it.

  “Autumn,” he slurred.

  I tensed. Every fiber of my being revolted as I thought of him getting in the way of this. I threw my backpack on, only looking back to see that the door was locked. I opened the window, climbed on top of my table, and vaulted from the musty room.

  I ran. I did not even stop when I reached the edge of the woods. I kept on—branches slapping me in the face, twigs threatening my clumsy feet. I ran past the hiding place where I went as a child. When I was eight years old, I watched Forrest Gump with my brother. My parents had left us alone for the night, and it was the only thing we had.

  After the movie, I found a meadow. I did not know who God was, and He did not turn Jenny into a bird, but I got on my knees and asked Him to. After three times of trying without anything happening, I gave up on the whole idea. Although I still hid in the meadow after that day, I never flew off as a bird.

  I busted through the forest on the opposite side of town. Looking at the busy road, I decided to keep walking by the tree line. My heart was pounding in my chest, but I tried to look as calm as possible. I did not want anyone to see a frantic girl running beside the road. The last thing I needed was to be taken back to that place again.

  Thunder clapped above me, and I looked up, seeing the distant rain clouds. I could make it to the bus station before it hit. I picked up my pace, crunching on the dead leaves below me, spotting red ones in the mix.

  When I was a girl, there were some happy times. My mother told me on the first day of fall, she had a dream about a girl with hair the color of autumn leaves. She was strong and confident. She believed it was a premonition telling her everything would be okay. I became her Autumn. Though the leaves fall, I will rise.

  I wasn’t superstitious. I didn’t believe in anything. Hell, I didn’t even believe in myself most days, but something about my fierce red hair and the season I was born made me want to believe that I was destined to be more than I was born into.

  I saw the familiar building ahead. I had passed it too many times to count, wondering when I would finally buy a one-way ticket out of here. The parking lot was peppered with cars and buses. Just as I opened the door, the bottom fell out of the sky.

  The sky was crying in August, a rare occurrence in Texas. The bus station was quiet, but honestly no one used the bus station anymore. My torn backpack was glued to my feet, filled with thrift store finds. My purse was slung over my shoulder, secured to my side. The only contents were a ticket and a wad of cash that would earn me a degree far, far away.

  I left it all behind. I didn’t know what lengths those around me would go to keep tabs on me. Somewhere deep down, past the paranoia, I didn’t think anyone cared to find me. My past will be angry, but time heals all wounds. After a while, I will have never existed to them. Just a faint memory of the girl who used to be.

  I will always carry them in my scars, the tears I shed behind closed doors; my whole being. But one day, I will be someone else. Today I am Autumn Miller, teenage runaway. In three days, when I climb off my last bus, I will be Autumn Miller, college student and resident of Washington. The girl who left her monsters behind.

 
Two

  “If it isn’t my lucky roommate,” she said. Sarcasm oozed from her voice like the venom of a snake. She was perched, and ready to strike.

  Her long blonde hair was parted down the middle. She stood with her arms crossed at her chest, smirking. If I could round up every girl who made my time in high school a living hell and mash them into one, she would be the result. She was the ultimate Regina George.

  “Hi,” I said, briefly getting the awkwardness out of the way. I should have paid the extra money to live off campus. At the very least found a bigger dorm room. Unfortunately, I know this money will not last forever. I frowned at my reasoning. I am too young to be this old.

  I only had one fear: That I would always be responsible. Somewhere, deep down inside, I wanted to go on a binge, spending my money on stupid items that I would never need, but I raised myself to be smarter than that. I knew from the time I was old enough to piece together coherent thoughts that there would be a time to run. One week ago, I ran like hell.

  I walked over to the empty bed on the left side and set my backpack and purse down carefully. It was empty, and that reminded me of everything I needed to buy to survive this place. The wad of cash was burning a hole in my purse, and my conscience.

  “Transplant from Texas? What brings you all the way to Seattle?” Blondie asked from behind me. I rolled my eyes, annoyed that I roomed with a talker. I was hoping by some miracle I would end up alone. I always had shit luck.

  “The weather,” I said sarcastically. I picked up my purse and slung it over my shoulder. My brow furrowed as I finally processed what she said. Spinning around, I eyed her. “How do you know where I’m from?”

  She shrugged while looking at her perfectly manicured fingernails. They were cheap. Not that I’d ever had a manicure, but I could tell she walked into the cheapest shop she could find to make a good first impression. Her face was heart-shaped, bringing focus to her full lips and big doe eyes. She was beautiful, but in a white-trash kind of way. She wasn’t fooling me, but I would play along with whatever version of herself she wanted to be. I sure as hell wanted her to play along with my new version.

  “I have contacts all over this campus, Autumn.” She was toying with me, and I hated her for it. I just needed to learn to be better at her game than she was.

  Turning my back to her, I walked to the door. “Tell your contacts to stay the hell away from my files.”

  Her laughter stopped me dead in my tracks. The familiar, metallic, bell-tone pitch almost drew me in, but I shook my head, knowing I would never hear my mother laugh again. She’s dead, Autumn. They both are.

  “I’m Josie, by the way. I think you’ll fit right in,” she said. I didn’t respond. I walked out of the door and into the busy hallway. Thankfully, I missed all the weeping parents. I arrived two days late, and honestly, I couldn’t say that was a bad thing. I’d never been late. I strived for perfection in my old life. I knew if I ever wanted to become anything, I had to work harder than everyone else.

  If I remembered correctly, Target was four miles away. I stood at the bus stop, knowing one was due to come any minute. Moving across the country was weird. Doing it with a phone you had limited access to and most of your personal belongings was the topping on the cake. I was at the mercy of the universe, and the universe was a bitch.

  The wind slapped into me, and I pulled my long red hair up and out of my face then shoved my sunglasses on. The squeal of the bus could be heard from one street over. Out of habit, I held my purse tight, waiting.

  A car whipped around the bus, stopping in front of me. Come on! It was expensive and I immediately hated the driver as he rolled down the window. He was young and I was sure he did nothing to deserve that car.

  “Need a ride?” he asked. His voice was the epitome of perfection, and it made me sick. I didn’t look at him closely. I barely saw his silhouette as he leaned across his seat. I turned my head, waiting for the bus to get closer.

  “Obviously not,” I said, pointing to the bus stop I was standing next to.

  “The bus isn’t any place for a girl to be at night,” he countered. What was it with this jerk?

  Huffing, I rolled my eyes. “It’s still daylight outside…and what’s your solution? Get in the car with some creep who hangs out at the bus station?”

  He laughed a cocky laugh. “How about I give you my number in case you change your mind?”

  “No phone,” I lied.

  “Fair enough. I’m bound to run into you on campus.” And with that, he drove off. The cherry brand-new red Mustang was out of my sight within seconds.

  “Are you getting on, Miss?”

  I snapped my head around, looking at the bus driver. “Yeah, sorry,” I said, shaking my head. I got on the bus and found a seat at the back.

  I begged for friends for years and was rewarded with rumors, bruises, and more bullying than one person could handle. Now, I wanted to be alone, and the universe wouldn’t accept that. I couldn’t catch a break. I pulled the paper from my purse, distracting myself from these overly friendly people.

  Late-summer heat wave sends temperatures soaring into the eighties. I looked up and to my side, as if someone else was reading the same sentence I was. I traded glances with a stranger, and then looked away.

  The bus was approaching the mall stop. I saw Target from a distance and smiled. Finally, something was going my way. As I exited the bus, I realized how perfect this state really was. The air, the scenery, the city—all of it. I sucked in all the air I could. It was the most beautiful air I had ever breathed. I walked to the store with my head down, avoiding faces.

  I grabbed a red shopping cart and mentally made a list. Bedding, toiletries, a small safe, clothes. I ran in each direction, hoping to get the essentials before the sun dipped down below the buildings. The rude, rich stranger was right. I should not be on buses at night, especially in a new city. He didn’t even know who I was…he especially didn’t know about the cash in my purse.

  After I found what I needed, I went to the nearest self-checkout and paid for my items. I secretly picked three large bills and fed them into the machine. I was careful to not let anyone see what was in my bag. I left the store, found my bus, and rode back to campus in silence. The sun was barely peeking over the buildings, slowly dipping by the second.

  “Approaching University District,” a voice said over the speaker. I glanced to my right, taking in the campus as it streaked by. I shoved my newspaper into my purse and grabbed my bags, waiting for the stop.

  I walked down the path leading to McMahon Hall, not needing help navigating. I spent three days calculating my every move. It was amazing what a person could do when they spent forty-five hours on a bus. I was quite positive I could navigate the entire state of Washington without ever looking at a map again.

  Trees lined the path, not that I needed shade. The sun was not as angry as it was in Texas, and it was dropping fast. My creamy white skin was thankful. The campus was surprisingly packed, but I allowed myself to stop and take it all in. A large “W” was centered in front of the building before me, reminding me I’d moved to Washington. This wasn’t a dream. I’d made it.

  I ducked my head down and walked faster to my dorm. I noticed a red car in the parking lot and sighed. I hoped the rude stranger was wrong. I didn’t get a good look at him, but I knew he saw me. The last thing I needed was people trying to get close to me right now.

  When I got back to my dorm, at least a dozen people were in the hallway. Rolling my eyes, I opened the door, ignoring them as I carried my bags inside. As I shut the door it caught, and Josie stepped through, smiling at me.

  “Look, about earlier,” Josie started, and I shook my head, not wanting to deal with her right now.

  “It’s fine. In the past,” I said, my tone clipped. She was still standing in the room, waiting for something to happen. She would be disappointed that I wasn’t confrontational, and I couldn’t care less about making friends.

  “That’
s the thing…I was hoping you would hang out with us.” She dragged her teeth across her bottom lip, anxious. I narrowed my eyes at her. What was her game?

  “Oh. Uh, I appreciate it…but I’m pretty tired,” I said.

  She shrugged her small shoulders before turning on her heel. “You know where to find us if you change your mind.”

  After the door closed, I opened the safe, slid it under my bed, and stuffed the small purse inside. I set up a combination and let out a sigh of relief. My only fear about this trip was that I would be robbed, and my whole chance at a new start would be reduced to nothing. Out-of-state financial aid was out of the question for me right now. This money was the only thing I had.

  I emptied my Target sacks, setting the toiletries and clothes on the built-in desk beside my bed. I put the purple sheets on my bed and tossed the comforter on top just as the door opened again.

  “Autumn?”

  That voice. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. I didn’t turn around, just continued slipping my single pillow into the pillowcase; hoping the rude rich boy would leave my room. I didn’t have a lot of experience with boys, but I did know if you ignored someone long enough, they would leave.

  During high school, if I stared straight ahead and didn’t acknowledge them, the popular crowd would eventually move on to their next victim. Afterwards, I could lock myself in a stall and cry. Mulling over everything they had said. White trash, trailer trash, ugly. I never let them know their words affected me. I pressed on. I knew it wouldn’t always be like that for me.